when forever is too long

april
It’s been year of this and all I have to say is that it hasn’t been easy, nothing has been easy, but to be honest all of it is for you. There have been too many phone calls where we ended up resenting one another, I don’t want everything to fall apart now, I don’t want resentment, it’s not who we used to be. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I am just trying to picture a life without you, without zero contact with you and it burns a hole in my chest. Yet we’re still here, but our scenery is changing, and it feels like a lifetime sitting alone here without you. I don’t know how long this is going to take but I hope it’s worth the wait. You’re worth all this waiting. You say 'I promise you that one day everything is going to be better for us', I hope for forever. All I can do is hope.